Keep F*cking That Chicken

Oh no wait that’s old news, cows are the new ‘hot’ thing. Literally, in the case of New Jersey cop Robert Melia who along with his girlfriend Heather Lewis have had to go to court for allegations of assaulting young girls over a five year-period. So far so Gary Glitter, however when the cops (who I’m presuming must have worked with him) busted his house they found a video of Melia sexing up a cow! An actual friggin cow!

To make shit weirder bestiality is not actually a crime in New Jersey (Party’s there must be INSANE!) so to try and prosecute him they have had to claim it is animal cruelty. I’m not sure why they didn’t go with rape instead of animal cruelty because to prove it was cruelty, prosecutors had to prove that the cows ( yes cows, it was five in total!) didn’t enjoy the experience where as if it was a rape case the prosecutor would just have to prove the cow didn’t agree to some sexy time. And seeming as though cows can’t speak (don’t worry I was shocked at that revelation as well, who knew cows couldn’t speak) proving they did not like something is a lot harder than proving they didn’t agree to something. This meant that the court could not prove the cows were dealt any kind of cruelty so Melia got to walk home a free man. Well until he had to go back and face the charge of child molestation that is.

At least he was a equal opportunities pervert.

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